11.28.2003

the devil inside is my own

last night was some fun shit! got so drunk. so so drunk. wow, was i ever drunk. and i'm up this fucking early. i don't wake up this early on a night i fall asleep halfsober. i don't remember when i crashed out. i don't remember when sarah left. i don't know if mitch came up.

i'm all about HIM now. i wanna buy all their cds. love metal is where it's at.

anal sex is not right because a girl can't do it to a guy. that's the only reason i think it's wrong. oh, and i should mention that swallowing cum reduces the chance of getting breast cancer if you're a female doing the swallowing. so, be healthy, drink up!





HIM - Join Me
Baby join me in death
Baby join me in death
Baby join me in death

We are so young
Our lives have just begun
But already we're considering
Escape from this world

And we've waited for so long
For this moment to come
We're anxious to be together
Together in death

Won't you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death
Won't you die
Baby join me in death
Won't you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death

This world is a cruel place
And we're here only to lose
So before life tears us apart
Let death bless me with you

Won't you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death
Won't you die
Baby join me in death
Won't you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death
Join me in death

This life it ain't worth living
This life it ain't worth living
This life it ain't worth living
Join me
Join me
Join me
This life ain't worth living
This life ain't worth living
This life ain't worth living

Won't you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death
Won't you die
Baby join me in death
Won't you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death

Baby join me in death

11.23.2003

you can plan a pretty picnic but you can't predict the weather

so i'm going to be getting this car sometime early next week, monday or tuesday-ish. monday i'm going to an insurance company to buy insurance to take to the DMV to register it so i can drive it. it's taken so goddamned long. and i haven't posted in this thing 'cos the computer i'm on is constantly being fucked up.

thanksgiving is comming up. a celebration of the white mans introduction to america, which was then inhabited by indians. the indians traded their corn, fish and other shit for blankets and stuff from the pilgrims. these blankets, the same ones that covered people that had tuberculosis and other various uncurable diseases, were given to the indians which spread the majority of the diseases we have now.

like hell was all buttercups and daisys. shit was not peaceful. think abou thwere the native americans are now. penned up on tiny plots of land. running casinos to support themselves. shit was going just fine without white people and their goddamn turkeys.

kill whitey!!!!!! the white devil must be destroyed!!!!

the feng shui in my room is all fucdup. i haven't been able to write anything. do any art. i occasionally write in my private journal. plus getting this car has taken way longer than i imagined. then there's this whole family gettogether shenangians with thanksgiving.

i despise holidays. they're all nother more than a plot by the man to make everything all hunky-dory. mothers day and fathers day are nothing but ploys thought up by card companies to boost sales, thus starting a whole industry to greeting cards. and just 'cos i can i'm going to bitch about christmas.

xmas is some serious bullshit. i wanna see a birth certificate of jesus christ being delivered to bethlem by santa-fucking-claus and his goddamned reindeer. what in the hell, seriously.

around this area i've been spotting xmas lights. it's not even thanksgiving, and there's lights up. fucking christ. i like tose kinds of lights and shit, but honestly people, wait till at least the day after thanksgiving to put them up. one holiday at a time people, we can't be having things all screwy and in a hoopla.

i give this computer 3 more days till it's straight fucked again. naw, make that 2.

the only holiday i truely believing in celebrating is your birthday. there's no day greater than the day you entered this shithole of a world that's just going to tear you up. since the day we were born we've been dying. we live to die. might as well celebrate that day while you're alive, 'cos you won't be celebrating the day that you finally leave this world. how fukt is that? you waste all this time in this life, and you can't even celebrate the day you leave. haha, now i'm going to bash religion.

then you got these religions telling you that when you die, you're going to be judged for everything you've done in a life that you never even asked for, and probably didn't want. heaven, or hell. apparently that's all we have to look forward to when we die. fuck that.

maybe when you die, that's it. or maybe the thing you actually believed would happen when you died (no matter what it be), happens. doesn't that seem a bit more rational? why do we have to follow standards thought be people that aren't even alive anymore. better yet, why believe in what anyone else says? you're smart, come up with your own conclusions.

turkey has tryptofens (sp?) in the meat. it makes you tired. drink some , eat some turkey and lots of other calorie-filled foods, doing all this in the celebration of pilgrims fucking up the entire indian civilization, and then sleeping. think about all the people that died during all that shit while you're going to sleep.

think about jesus and how he died for all your sins during CHRISTmas. and if you don't do what he says (words that were translated & handwritten from ancient scrolls by horny monks with no way to release their sexual frustration) or you're going to hell.

don't be yourself. do what other people tell you to do. conform to societies standards. live out someone elses dreams for your life. think for yourself? are you insane? that's crazy-talk.

how about this: say "fuck the world" and mean it. come to the realization that there is no god, or no heaven, or hell. understand that all you have is you and your memories, and the memories that people have of you. live your life how you want to be remembered. do what makes you happy. realistically, this is the only life you're ever known, or ever will have. have an impact. life sucks, plain and simple, but there's some good times, and the goal in the game of life is of trying to have those good times as much as possible.

it's simple really. destroy everything you've been up with, and all your left with is what's real.

this is your life, your fucking life, and it's ending one moment at a time.

11.13.2003

tracks will fade in the snow

goddamn there is some shitty weather going on outside right now.

i woke up today to a snow-covered ground. shit's all windy and wet. i like skiing and all of that, but i do not like this kind of fucking weather.

i can finally check hotmail on my fone, which makes my only reason to get on this pile of shit computer is to update this even bigger pile of shit journal.

ckleine01@sprintpcs.com <~~~ email me on my fone for the sheer fuck of it. pls.....

11.11.2003

it's not the end just the beginning of the end

8 more years to the date.

8 years might not seem like that long of a time, but it really is. that's two presidential terms. twice as long as the normal life expectancy of a hamster.

i didn't get that car yet. the check doesn't clear till friday.

i changed the template of this blog so the tag thing isn't up anymore.

c1134k@hotmail.com that's my email and any questions can be pointed to that

http://c1134k.tripod.com/ that's my site and it's cool (not). i should've put up a counter on it when i made it so i could see how many times people have been there. probably like 5 or 6.

11.08.2003

we used to love ourselves, we used to love one another.


so i've decided on a car. a 94 lincoln continental. gunmetal gray. 96K miles.

as for a job... no word on that yet. hopefully something that pays 8$/hr and lets me work crazy over time. 14hrs/day+6days/wk+8$/hr=848$/wk.

goddamn.

11.04.2003

life stinks, we don't give a fuck son, we crazy.

uh, i slept all day yesterday. whoo hoo, way to kill a perfectly productive day. i stayed up the night before for no reason except to get mcgriddles at 6. mmmmm mcgriddles, if u haven't had one before, GET ONE!!! i'm a fan of the bacon one. mmmmm bacon.

soon i'm going to have a real website up, not just the cheesy tripod one. i think that'll be an interesting way for me to let out some creative ideas. it'll also be a good way to learn some nasty graphic designing. making some trippy art would be fun.

to do list:
get a car
get a job
get some broadband up in herre
get a laptop
get that damn microkorg 'cos that's some hott shit right therre
get a life

anyone know of some places that are hiring?
anyone wanna drive me around to some places to pick up applications?

11.03.2003

who you know do it better?

updated website